few thoughts

What I am today its a combination of my environment and society. Still, I find I am discovering about myself all the time how individual I am. The love which I feel is so strong in me as a divine gift which connects me so easily with people

is amazing. I cannot give any other logical/rational explanation, that love moves the world. How it restores faith,

gives motivation, and energy to do work. The thoughts also agree with it. And believe me, the whole nature moves with you and works with you if you can connect those strings/threads. They are all in love.

There is nothing more needed than to realise that love will give birth to all other emotions, factors, reasoning and thoughts. The respect, compassion, understanding, maturity, devotion, are all outgrowths of this love. That has been the symbol of all prophets, avatars. That they are nothing else, but pure love.

We go after books, laws, rules, and feel God sitting above is judging them and will punish them. But I feel, as lot of other thinkers and philosophers have emphasized, that God is pure love and compassion. The rules are mechanics of the nature. You be with the nature and all will be fine. You disturb it, and the effects are all reactions from the nature, be it some religious community, some authority or rule-book. When you suffer, its not the God who is punishing you, its an after-effect of your karma, your action. He will only move you out of your suffering. That is the importance of time. That time changes, from suffering to bliss and also from bliss to suffering. Time is also an element of God.

That is philosophy, how science mixes with spirituality. The roots are all the same, only cultures vary due to geography.

All rivers are different, but essence is water, and they all merge in the ocean.

Journeys are always enriching. I donot know why I go from here to there, what purpose lies for it, but in the long run, life unfolds what role it plays, which we call God's leela or enactment.

I have split personalities in me, I can very well see it. Many must have observed it. There is a child in me which is always active, no matter what I say it comes out in the actions, the immaturity and innocence of it, yet the love and playfulness is also contained in it. People respond to it, connect with it.

And yet a disturbed ego resides. It makes me feel in despair, that I walk from one failure to another. That looks for a proof of my capabilities, challenges me. Situations sometimes turn humiliating when things happen from me foolishly. Yet I feel, those are due to the ego which comes in between the child. The negativity also sprouts from it, which tells me "Reality Bites". I try to connect with real world, try to feel depressed, to feel I am lowly, and I have to do my duty. But it all goes in vain, I end up being the child I was, foolish, innocent, playful and carefree of what will happen.

I donot know how long this will continue. I will keep moving from one personality to another. When will I get a balance of being at calm with who I am , and what am I supposed to be.